Self-harm is a deeply personal and complex behaviour, often linked to overwhelming emotions, anxiety, or trauma. It’s important to understand that self-harm is not about seeking attention but rather a way for individuals to cope with emotional pain they feel they cannot otherwise express. If you're supporting someone in this situation, the journey to healing requires patience, compassion, and a supportive environment.
Here are some of the key strategies for helping someone begin to break the cycle of self-harm in a caring and effective way. However, if you’d like to learn about this topic, do reach out to Cog-Spark to hear about our training and resources.
Approach with Compassion, Not Judgement
It’s crucial to offer a safe space for open communication. Those who self-harm often feel a sense of shame or guilt, and judgment can push them further away. Instead, let them know that you are there to listen without criticism. Use phrases like, "I'm here for you," or "You don’t have to face this alone." Empathy and understanding can build trust and encourage more open conversations.
Help Identify Triggers
Understanding why someone feels the need to self-harm is an important step. Encourage them to think about the moments when they feel most vulnerable. Is it stress, loneliness, or perhaps a particular environment? By identifying these triggers, you can help them recognise early signs and work on alternative ways to cope.
Introduce Alternative Coping Mechanisms
Once triggers are identified, explore alternatives to self-harm. These could include:
- Physical outlets, such as running or walking to channel energy and stress.
- Creative activities, including drawing, writing, or playing music, to express difficult emotions.
- Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or guided meditation, to calm the mind during challenging moments.
Encouraging someone to try different approaches will help them find what works best for them in distress.
Suggest Practical Distraction Techniques
In times of overwhelming emotion, distraction can offer a temporary reprieve from the urge to self-harm. Some simple strategies include:
- Engaging with Sensory Activities: Focusing on tactile sensations with a fidget spinner, slime, or playdough can help distract from emotional distress.
- Scribbling or tearing paper: These actions can release pent-up energy safely.
These techniques aren't long-term solutions but can help deter the urge, providing time for other coping strategies to take effect.
Seek Professional Support Together
Breaking the cycle of self-harm often requires professional help. Gently encourage the person to seek counselling or therapy, where they can explore the underlying causes of their behaviour. Therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) have been shown to be effective in reducing self-harm by helping individuals manage difficult emotions and adopt healthier coping strategies.
In the UK, resources like the Hub of Hope (a comprehensive national mental health support database) can help locate local services. They offer access to mental health support in your area via their website https://hubofhope.co.uk/. It's a great tool to introduce to someone looking for professional help.
Connect with Support Agencies
For additional help, there are several UK-based charities and organisations that specialise in supporting individuals who self-harm:
Samaritans: They are available 24/7 for anyone in distress and offer free confidential support. You can reach them at 116 123.
PAPYRUS UK : A charity focused on preventing suicide in young people, which also provides resources for those struggling with self-harm. Their HOPELINEUK is available at 0800 068 4141 or via text at 07860 039 967.
Mind : This leading mental health charity offers information, support, and local services across the UK. Visit [Mind](https://www.mind.org.uk/) for more details.
Empower Their Autonomy
While support is crucial, it’s equally important to respect the person's autonomy. Allow the person to take control of their healing journey and avoid placing too much pressure on them to stop immediately. Setbacks are a normal part of recovery, so be patient and continue offering your encouragement, even during difficult times.
Celebrate Small Victories
Recovery is a journey with ups and downs. Encourage and celebrate even the smallest progress, such as when they manage to delay the urge to self-harm or try a new coping strategy. Positive reinforcement can help them recognise that change is possible and that small steps lead to long-term success.
Final Thoughts
Supporting someone in breaking the cycle of self-harm is challenging but deeply rewarding. You are playing a vital role in their journey toward healing by approaching them with empathy, providing practical strategies, and connecting them to professional support. Progress takes time, and every small victory is a step closer to a healthier, more positive future.
Want to learn more?
If your organisation is committed to supporting employees' mental health and addressing self-harm in a compassionate, informed way, reach out to Cog-Spark. We offer tailored training and resources to equip your team with the knowledge and skills needed to respond effectively and sensitively. Let us help you foster a workplace culture where mental health is prioritised, and everyone feels safe seeking support. Contact Cog-Spark today to learn more about our self-harm awareness and prevention training options.
